I should have known. I’ve had a business trip scheduled for today since right around the time I thought I was pregnant. Shortly after the miscarriage, I looked at the calendar and was concerned about the timing of the trip.
Well today, as I was in a meeting (well, drinking a beer outside by the river with someone important), the phone rang. I ignored it as I was in the middle of this meeting. But a minute later I had a second to check my voicemail, and lo and behold it was my OB. She left a voicemail apologizing, but saying that the cytogenetics lab has been unable to grow any fetal cells. They are only getting maternal cells.
I quickly called the office back and thankfully the doctor was still there and the nurse patched me through. She explained to me that they haven’t issued their official report, but that they’ve given it several weeks and the fetal cells just aren’t growing. I couldn’t believe it. Well, in a way I could believe it, because we just seem to have rotten luck with this stuff. But I had so much hope. The initial pathology report identified chorionic villi. I know absolutely nothing about cytogenetics (and neither does Lance…they don’t even do pathology in med school apparently), but I thought if there was chorionic villi present that we’d have a good chance of getting something.
So now we are back to square one.
The good thing is that we were already planning for me to get the recurrent loss bloodwork and the saline ultrasound. So I’m guessing if those show nothing, then we just assume it was a chromosomal abnormality and then possibly request karotyping on Lance and I. But hopefully something shows up in either the bloodwork or the ultrasound. I hate the idea that at 31 I just have so many bad eggs that we are losing 75% of our pregnancies.
So it is back to waiting. Waiting for my period to show and then waiting for more test results. The saline ultrasound is scheduled for the 26th and I’ll get the bloodwork done on the 3rd day of my period (which is hopefully just around the corner as I felt some cramping this morning on the plane and this evening). Hopefully the rest of the test results don’t take a month to come back.
I had a few moments of tears but tried to get myself together to enjoy the evening. I had an awesome FaceTime session with Bella, who kept saying “mama” over and over again into the phone and blowing me kisses (and apparently physically kissing the phone as well). After that I enjoyed a lovely solo dinner at the riverfront bar at the hotel, had a nice cocktail, and came up to my hotel room to take a hot bath. On a day with crappy news, sometimes you at least have to do a few things to treat yourself.