Fear

I knew that pregnancy following miscarriage wouldn’t be easy. But what I wasn’t counting on was my body throwing a curve ball at me to riddle me with fear at such an early stage. Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Hard enough for this desperate-to-be-a-mother gal, but made harder when I noticed some brown discharge first thing in the morning. When I saw it a second time that afternoon, I totally lost it. I was convinced that I had already lost my baby at 5 weeks 4 days. Today I am still totally worried yet trying to be more optimistic. I’ve still had the brown discharge occasionally but thankfully it hasn’t gotten worse or changed colors to red. I called the nurse line at my OB and the earliest they can see me is tomorrow at 10:30. I’m absolutely terrified and prepared for the worst. I’m just not sure how I can go through this again. The months of depression were brutal and were only eased by conceiving again. So all I can do now is pray that the discharge stops and that everything is OK. I need everything to be OK.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s