Today marks six weeks since my d&c, and honestly, I’m not sure my head is in any better of a place today than it was six weeks ago. I definitely cry less, but here we stand, six weeks later, and I still find my thoughts with my baby 90% of my waking hours. The “shoulda’s” are not improving either. I still haven’t lost count of how far along I “should” be (17 weeks 2 days) or what my baby should be doing (starting to kick me). I thought by now this sense of loss would have lessened, but it hasn’t weakened at all.
All I can think is that a new pregnancy and the hope that it would bring is what I need to move on, but of course we are playing a waiting game there as my hormones are slowly making their way back down.
Maybe I need to find somewhere else to put my focus….our home remodeling is underway but it has been hard to get excited. Especially when the original impetus for starting the project was my pregnancy.