Smiles and Tears

This week thankfully went pretty quickly after a five-night trip to Orlando. I was able to spend some time with my husband and visit with friends that live in Florida. It was a much needed respite. I had fun drinking beer with my friends and going on rides at Disney World. I’m not much a roller coaster person, but I rode Expedition Everest which is my biggest coaster to date. I was pretty proud of myself. For most of the trip I had a great time. There were still some tough moments. While watching the Lion King show at Animal Kingdom, I was having a great time, and then all these cute kids came up and paraded around during the show. I had this big surge of, “I can’t wait until I get to see the joy in my own kids’ eyes” which led to some tears. That night I totally broke down and cried while eating at a fast food sushi restaurant. Hearing that Snooki of all people is pregnant is not helping things. So now I’m back to my routine, and just eagerly awaiting my period so that we can start trying again. This is life for now…a mixture of smiles and tears that come out of no where. Trying to enjoy things as best I can, until a reminder of what we’ve lost brings me to my knees.

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