My Struggle

Today marks one week since we had our pregnancy innocence shattered. I made it through yesterday with no tears, but today has really been a struggle. I felt the need this morning to look at the ultrasound picture of our baby given to us by the OB last week. Our baby looks so perfect in the picture that I just can’t bare it.

I’ve had a huge case of the “shoulda’s” that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. This week “shoulda” been the last week of the first trimester. Yesterday I was able to go to Target and not break down as I picked out a little outfit for a friend’s newborn. But today I am just overwhelmed. It doesn’t help that I have had a persistent headache since last week that won’t go away. Another constant reminder of my grief.

I am trying to be grateful for the good things in my life. My husband has been absolutely amazing to me throughout this. He is my rock and I don’t know what I’d do without him. I just hope that with time this pain will ease…

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